How do I find the right therapist in Calgary?

Finding the right therapist in Calgary is about more than credentials or a particular therapeutic approach—it’s about finding someone you feel safe, comfortable, and genuinely able to connect with. Yes, it can be time-consuming and often involves a bit of trial and error, but it’s worth taking the time to find the right fit before you’ve spent the money and gotten deeply invested in the therapeutic relationship, only to realize they’re not clicking with you.

My number one recommendation is to book a free consultation. Although you may not know for sure if it’s the right therapist for you from just a 15-20 minute conversation, a free consultation is a great opportunity to get a feel for their style and approach. It’s a time to ask any clarifying questions you may have about them and the therapeutic process in general, or to just say it’s your first time in therapy and you have no idea what to expect! It’s also an opportunity for the therapist to get a surface-level understanding of what your concerns are and what you’re hoping to achieve through the therapeutic process. Not all therapists work with all concerns, which is why a consultation is a two-way process: just as you're deciding whether the therapist feels like the right fit for you, the therapist is also determining whether your needs align with their areas of competence. An ethical therapist will be upfront with you if your concerns fall outside their scope of practice or if they feel another provider or type of support would be better suited to your needs. The goal is to make sure you're getting the right support, even if that means being referred elsewhere. Ultimately, the right fit is someone whose presence allows you to let your guard down and just be a raw, messy human being.

Also, remember, a free consultation should be no obligation. That means that, even if you’ve opened up, cried, shared about your life in that consultation, there should still be absolutely no pressure to book in with that therapist. Here at Bespoke, I will always encourage you to have other consultations in addition to one with me. I want you to find the right fit for you, whether that’s me or anyone else!

What is trauma therapy, and who can benefit from it?

Trauma therapy is a specialized form of therapy that helps us understand, process, and heal from experiences that have had a lasting impact on the way we think, feel, behave, relate to others, or experience our body. And when I say trauma, I don't only mean the kind of experiences that immediately come to mind when we hear that word.

There is what is sometimes referred to as “Big T Trauma” and “Little T trauma.”

Big T Trauma refers to experiences that are obviously traumatic or life-threatening, such as sexual assault, serious accidents, physical abuse, domestic violence, natural disasters, combat, or other events where we experienced significant fear, helplessness, or danger.

Little T trauma is different and often a lot more subtle. These are experiences that may not seem “bad enough” to warrant the word trauma, especially when compared to something like abuse or a serious accident. But when difficult experiences happen repeatedly, especially in childhood, they can still shape the way we see ourselves, other people, and the world around us.

Little T trauma is extremely common. In fact, most of us have experienced some form of it.

It can include things like growing up in a home where emotions weren't talked about, having a highly critical or unpredictable parent, feeling like you had to be the “good kid” or the “family therapist”, experiencing bullying or rejection, having your feelings consistently dismissed, growing up around conflict, taking on too much responsibility at a young age, experiencing a significant loss or divorce, or learning that your needs were inconvenient or unsafe to express.

None of these experiences necessarily mean that you have “trauma” in a clinical sense. But experiences like these can leave lasting emotional patterns—particularly when they happen repeatedly or when we don't have the support, safety, or understanding we need to process them at the time.

It’s common to notice these patterns within ourselves years later, showing up as anxiety, people-pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, low self-esteem, feeling constantly on edge, struggling to trust people, relationship difficulties, emotional numbness, or a feeling that something just isn't right even though you can't quite put your finger on what it is.

You also don’t need to have a formal PTSD diagnosis to benefit from trauma therapy. You don't even need to be completely certain that what you experienced “counts” as trauma. If experiences from your past—or ongoing experiences in your present—are affecting the way you feel, function, or relate to yourself and other people, therapy is a great place to explore that.

Trauma therapy provides a safe, supportive space to make sense of these experiences, understand the patterns that developed as a result, and begin creating new ones. Depending on your needs and goals, this may involve working with difficult memories, emotional responses, beliefs about yourself, relationship patterns, or the ways your body responds to stress.

Ultimately, trauma therapy isn't about digging up the past just for the sake of talking about it. It's about understanding why you are the way you are today, making sense of what you've experienced, and helping you feel more like yourself moving forward.

If any of this resonates, book a consult and let’s figure it out together.

What are the signs of unresolved childhood trauma in adults?

One of the things I think is important to understand about childhood trauma is that it doesn't always look the way we expect it to. In fact, many adults don't necessarily recognize that some of the challenges they're experiencing today may be connected to things they experienced growing up.

Unresolved childhood trauma can show up in all sorts of ways, including anxiety, overthinking, people-pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, low self-esteem, fear of rejection or abandonment, difficulty trusting others, emotional dysregulation, or constantly feeling like you're walking on eggshells. You might find yourself being overly critical of yourself, struggling to accept compliments, feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions, or repeatedly finding yourself in relationships that seem to follow the same unhealthy patterns.

Sometimes, it's less about any one particular symptom and more about a general feeling that something just isn't quite right. You might struggle to explain why certain situations affect you so deeply, why you react so strongly to seemingly small things, or why you have such a difficult time feeling comfortable, secure, or confident in yourself or your relationships.

It's also important to remember that experiencing some of these things doesn't automatically mean you have unresolved trauma. There are many reasons someone might experience these challenges. However, if you find yourself relating to several of these experiences, it may be worth exploring whether your past experiences are influencing the way you think, feel, and navigate relationships today.

The good news is that these patterns don’t have to be permanent. Through trauma-informed therapy, you can begin to understand where certain beliefs, behaviours, and emotional responses may have originated, make sense of how they've been affecting you, and work towards developing healthier ways of relating to yourself and others. You don't have to spend the rest of your life feeling the way you do now just because it's what you've become accustomed to or because you’ve hit a certain age. Life is about evolution, whether you’re 18, 34, 56, or 81.

Curious? Book a consult.

Can therapy help with anxiety, overthinking, and feeling overwhelmed?

Absolutely! Anxiety, overthinking, and feeling overwhelmed are some of the most common reasons people reach out for counselling. And while these experiences can sometimes feel like they're just part of your personality (maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking or saying stuff like this: “I'm just an anxious person”, “I'm an overthinker”, “I'm a people pleaser”, etc.), they don't necessarily have to be things you live with forever.

Anxiety can show up in a lot of different ways. Maybe your mind never seems to switch off, you spend hours replaying conversations, you constantly anticipate worst-case scenarios, or you find yourself worrying about things that haven't even happened yet. Maybe you struggle to make decisions because you're so worried about making the wrong one, feel responsible for keeping everyone else happy, or find yourself mentally exhausted from trying to stay on top of absolutely everything.

Sometimes, anxiety and overthinking are connected to deeper experiences, learned behaviours, or patterns that have developed over time. For some people, this might be related to childhood experiences, difficult relationships, or feeling like they always need to be in control or anticipate what's coming next. For others, it may be connected to current life circumstances, stressors, or other factors entirely.

In therapy, I work with clients to better understand what's contributing to their anxiety, identify the patterns that may be keeping them stuck, and develop healthier ways of responding to difficult thoughts, emotions, and situations. Depending on your individual needs, this might involve exploring underlying experiences, challenging unhelpful thought patterns, developing coping strategies, working on boundaries, or addressing the things that are contributing to your stress in the first place.

My goal isn't for you to become better at managing your anxiety so that you’re stuck continuing to push through life feeling overwhelmed. It's to help you understand yourself a little better, feel more in control of your emotional responses, and develop a greater sense of confidence and ease in your day-to-day life.

Ready to take the next step? Book a consult.

What can I expect from my first counselling session at Bespoke Clinical Counselling?

First things first: you don't need to prepare a speech, have everything figured out, or know exactly what you want to talk about. And you certainly don't need to have your thoughts and feelings organized into a neat little package before you walk through the door!

Your first counselling session is really an opportunity for us to get to know one another, discuss what's bringing you to therapy, and start getting a better understanding of what you're hoping to work towards. I'll ask you questions about your current concerns, relevant personal history, relationships, and anything else that might help me understand the bigger picture. We'll also talk about what you're hoping to get out of the therapeutic process and what that might look like moving forward.

Something I think is important to acknowledge is that everyone comes into therapy in a different place. Sometimes, life is quite literally hitting the fan, and you need help NOW. Maybe something has happened in your relationship, your family, your work life, or internally that has left you feeling overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next. In those situations, I understand that you may not have the time, energy, or desire to spend several sessions slowly working our way towards the issue. I'll do what I can to help you sort through what's happening, identify what's most important, and start working towards some clarity and direction as efficiently as possible.

Other times, people come into therapy feeling a little more hesitant, guarded, or unsure of where to start. Maybe it's your first time in counselling, maybe it takes you a while to feel comfortable opening up, or maybe you simply don't have a specific issue you're ready to dive into. That's completely okay, too. I'll meet you where you're at and make sure our sessions feel comfortable, conversational, and unrushed. There's no expectation that you have to spill your entire life story in the first hour!

You can also expect me to be an active participant in our conversations. I'm naturally quite inquisitive, so I tend to ask a lot of questions, explore things a little further, and offer observations or perspectives that will help you look at things differently. I don't believe therapy should feel like you're sitting across from someone who simply listens, nods, and waits for you to figure out what to say next. Of course, having someone listen and validate your experiences is important, but I also believe there's value in having a therapist who helps move the conversation forward in a meaningful and intentional way. Sometimes I'll ask you a question that makes you stop and think, point out a pattern you might not have noticed, or challenge a perspective that may not be serving you. My intention is to help you get something meaningful out of our time together, rather than feeling like you have to do all the heavy lifting yourself.

I also don't believe therapy should be a one-size-fits-all experience. Everyone comes into counselling with a different set of experiences, challenges, strengths, and goals, so I take an individualized approach to understanding what you need and how I can best support you. I'll explain my approach as we go along, answer any questions you may have, and we can begin discussing what working together might look like.

You might find yourself opening up quite a bit during your first session, or you might feel a little nervous, unsure of what to say, or hesitant about sharing certain things. All of that is completely okay. There's no expectation that you have to share everything right away, and we'll move at a pace that feels comfortable for you.

Most importantly, I want you to feel comfortable enough to show up as yourself. You don't need to filter your thoughts, worry about being judged, or feel like you have to present the best version of yourself. Therapy is a space where you can be a raw, messy human being, and that's exactly how I want you to feel.

By the end of our first session you'll have a better sense of who I am, how I work, and what my plan is to help you achieve your goals. From there, we'll continue building on what we've discussed and work towards those goals together, session by session.

Ready to get started? Book now.